I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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