im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
