and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
