Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
