what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
