Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The power of my boobs compel you
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
