Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
