I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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