I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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