no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
