Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize