Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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