So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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