oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I wish you could order shots online.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
