I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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