Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
