i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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