Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My bed smells like the plague
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