The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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