My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
