butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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