did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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