i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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