9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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