Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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