Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
