He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
