I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
