she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
