He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I lost the right to judge tonight
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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