It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
