Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
