I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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