Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
