i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
