went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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