it's like iHOP with fire
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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