i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
