i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
