You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
