Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
