Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
