hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
