Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
