its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
