I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ugly people sure do ruin things
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
