It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
