you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
