The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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