my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
