I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
