I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
