My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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