Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
