dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
