Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
