you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
