She's JV to your varsity
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
