Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
