Kiss
Puke
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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