I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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