Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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