hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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