Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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