i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
